Listen.
It’s no secret about my longtime crush on Zac Efron. Anyone who knows me that he’s more than my jam. In fact, I’ve written about him several times on the blog:
How He’s My Bae (Thanks, Pinterest)
A Letter to My Niece about Our Mutual Love Affair (He’s closer to me in age, so he’s mine FYI)
As a Birthday Wish to my Niece
As you can see, I have loved him for as long as I could remember. Zachary David Alexander also celebrates a birthday in October (SAME) and will turn 29 this year contrary to everyone believing that I’m still in love with some high school musical teen. AWKWARD.
My friends know me so well that when this moment happened, Natasha thought she would be a nice person and share it on my Facebook timeline.
Needless to say, I was unamused! WHO IS THIS GOLD-MEDALED OLYMPIAN CANOODLING WITH MY MAN!? Mr. Efron, because he is literally the cutest thing ever, met up with the women’s gymnastics team for some well wishing and fun, and spent some time online Twittering with Simone Biles.
And of course, Simone is basically America’s darling now with her gold medals and fancy floor routines and adorable smile and cute personality and basically being an all-around amazing person who overcame impossible circumstances to do something fantastic and arguably become the greatest gymnast in the world.
But I am not intimidated.
I’m a suburban mom with two kids (and a husband) who sells patterned pants to women on the internet and reheats her coffee eight times a day.
And now, I have four years until the next summer Olympics to get in shape and learn how to do all the fancy, schmancy swirly twirly, flips, leaps, double-axle, somersault, thingamajigger thingies to make Zac Efron want to get on a plane and fly to take a selfie with me.
SIMONE! I am serious. DO NOT EVEN WITH MY MAN.
Just remember who was first, Ms. Biles:
And yes, I know he looks stoic. He was trying to act like it wasn’t a big deal to be meeting me for the first time.
Operation #WinZacBack in full effect!
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