You may remember that I was recently cast in the Chicago edition of Listen to Your Mother and asked for reader submissions of your own mother stories!
This week we have Tina who has some sweet words about her daughter.
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I have an 8-year-old, Danielle. She is my life. She is the ONLY reason why I try so hard to pass these bitter challenges in my life. You look into those trusting eyes and you know you have to hold on and just keep on fighting. We always hear “like mother, like daughter”. Not really true – I guess it is that WE (as a mother) want to believe that. We always have this “mini-me” concept and sometimes others go as far as reliving their dreams that they didn’t get a chance to do before on their kids. We would dress alike. It is SO cute seeing a little you in the making. But that’s the thing, we can’t really MAKE them. We can only guide them and mold them to be the person that THEY are and not the person that you are or hope you were.
Watching my daughter grow is a learning experience for me as well. We always talk about everything. We always encourage her to speak up. The main topic at home is always about how to handle BULLIES. And I would get frustrated because 90% wouldn’t work. For one, we are at that young age and girls can already be that mean! It is really a huge difference from when I was growing up (70s) and kids today. You can’t just play outside or climb trees anymore. The environment/community is a big factor as well. To cut my long story short – my daughter is not as strong as I was. No matter what I say, it’s just not her. She is this meek, polite, thinks-everyone-is-nice kinda girl, and very sensitive. She would come home crying because her feelings got hurt. It hurts me to listen to her stories that when I was her age I could easily handle.
There is this mean girl two years older than her that for some reason doesn’t like her. She would tell the other kids to make Danielle stand outside and wait while they all play inside. She would make her sit and watch them talk because “they haven’t seen each other for awhile” – don’t tell Danielle kinda thing. However much I try to tell her to learn to stand up for herself like I did when I was her age, she isn’t doing it.
Very sweet – great read for this Friday!!!
I have to agree. They are individuals. My daughter is more outspoken than I was at 7. I have always be known for being the calm, collected one. I am reserved and protect myself only after accessing an entire situation. My daughter acts faster–but, in some ways that is better. But, sometimes, she needs to learn that there are times to walk away.
I struggle with this too. I see my boys and struggle with the fact that they aren’t as tough as i was growing up. Environment is a huge factor in our situation. I was raised on a farm. They have a soft “suburban” life. I have to remind myself every day I can’t make them be like me. I have to let them explore their own strengths and abilities. I can guide them, but I can’t make them.
I’m lucky as I of yet don’t have kids and didn’t suffer this in school. Even though I was one of those kids that at a younger age didn’t really stand up for herself. Hopefully that will change in time. 🙂