If you peruse the internet at all, then you probably have already read this article:
All facts. All truth. I laughed quite a bit. I’ve decided to do my own variation this morning about things nobody tells you about having two boys – brothers.
(The same goes for any additional brothers you later add to the pack)
1. They will be best frenemies for a while.
Playing together and laughing can quickly turn to sobbing, hitting, punching and kicking. They will go back to playing nicely as quickly as they started fighting.
2. The amount of food you go through on a daily basis will suddenly have you wondering whether it’s beneficial to start your own farm…and own a grocery store….and run a restaurant.
They will want food all.the.time. This phenomenon is not unique to having TWO boys. Most boys (and men) are like this, but with two or more, you will go broke much quicker.
3. The second son always believes he is two years old than he is.
Charlie still timidly climbs up playground equipment. Jack tries most new things without fear. Charlie had difficulty even getting on the couch at this age and Jack will walk off of it without a second thought.
4. The second son will also be much like the older’s shadow.
Charlie races the cars and makes vroom noises? So does Jack. Charlie likes his sandwich uncut and just holds it? So does Jack. Charlie uses a fork and spoon? So does Jack (tries to at least).
5. This shadow effect will create much anxiety for the older son.
“Why’s he following me? Stop chasing me. Don’t do that. Go away. Gimme dat.” You’ve heard most or all of these things. In the past five seconds. You’ve asked him to stop saying that. Or you’ve used a variation of the phrase, “He wants to be just like you!”
6. Bathroom privacy becomes a thing of the past. for everyone.
When potty training Charlie, I also found myself washing two sets of hands after every potty run. Between Charlie’s urination and Jack’s desire to play in the toilet water, we should buy stock in hand soap.
7. Privates mashing becomes a daily occurrence.
I’m sure you get this one.
8. They live to aggravate one another.
Charlie goes in time-out for throwing a fit. Jack walks in after him to stand and stare. Charlie hides every Hot Wheels type car we own, just so Jack won’t find and play with them. This is a minute-by-minute occurrence.
9. Every outing becomes a twelve step process.
Pack diaper bag. Dress everyone. Charlie, put your shoes on. Jack, come over here (put on his shoes). Tell Charlie to use the potty. Turn around to see Jack has taken off his shoes and put them back on. Fight with Charlie about using the potty. Listen to Charlie harumph as he stomps off to use the potty. Tell everyone to stop opening and closing the doors. Answer six questions about where we are going today. React to each of the same questions with a variation of the same response. Triple check that you have everything you need. Quadruple check that you have brought everything they will need. Ask Charlie (just to be safe) if he in fact has to go potty again. Check to be sure that all major appliances are off. Argue with each child about how many items they can bring with them. Break up fights over who will bring what car. Discuss why it may not be a good idea to bring blankies with us. Grab all of the items needed for the day and head out.
10. Two boys will bring double the joy.
This sounds cheesy (and it is), but two little smiles, four arms for cuddles and snuggles, two little mouths to wipe after arguing about eating their dinner, and two little bodies to chase at the park means that two little boys (or more!) bring adventure to this regular life. You have created instant life friends (I hope) and partners in crime (I hope not literally).
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