If you’ve followed The Peanuts Gang long enough, you’ll soon discover that my blogging (as of late), goes in spurts. There will be days (and sometimes weeks! gasp!) where the blog seems “dry”. And then, out of nowhere, multiple posts! If you follow in Google Reader, I’m sure you laugh at just how much writing seems to take place within a short period of time. I rarely take trips to Serioustown, but I’ve had some thoughts that I want to get down on virtual paper.
………………………………………………………….
Being a mom (parent) is hard. I’d venture to say (and disagree or not) that it is the single most important (and difficult) job on this planet. As we juggle the everyday life, we also are responsible for the lives of the child(ren) in it. Not just to take care of them and provide for their basic needs, but the make them valuable, contributing members of society in the future.
That is overwhelming to me when I really stop to think about it. It brings great weight to every thing I say to them, everything we do, and to each time I have to take a moment to correct behaviors. This is hard.
How do I know that what I am instilling in Charlie at the age of 2 will be the “right” way? Or that in 10 years, he’ll be the one that parents think is kind or has good manners or just in general, is a good person? What if I’m the parent at a birthday party that everyone talks about as “the one who can’t control her kids”? Or the one who has the “pincher/biter/squeezer/puncher”?
The truth is I don’t have all the answers, but I’m open (sometimes) to suggestions and helpful hints from those who’ve been there. There are days when I feel like when God gave me two boys, he was testing my patience and my grit – could I really handle all the rough and toughness that having boys brings?!? On other days, I look at these brothers and can’t imagine them without each other – the way they light up each other’s eyes when they enter rooms (usually).
I’m just putting this out there. I’m me and I’m the best mom for my boys. At least, I like to think so. And when I used to walk through a store or be in a situation where I looked at other moms and dads and thought, “I’d never do that” or “My kid will never act like that,” I now know the error of my ways. I will extend grace to moms and dads in tough situations because I’d like the same extended to me when life doesn’t go 100% my way or things don’t work out the way I had planned.
Being a mom is hard. But the best part is, even on my worst days, they extend immeasurable grace to me and exhibit unconditional love in a way that I didn’t even know they knew how. And for that, I am grateful.
I could not have said it better and I feel the EXACT way. I absolutely was ONE of those people before I had kids and now I’m ALWAYS the one sticking up for the mom who is struggling at the moment. We all have those days where we just feel like we are doing everything wrong and on days like those I make sure to take at least five minutes to myself and write in my gratitude journal to put myself in check. And usually on those days, the kids are the ones who make me feel how blessed I am everyday just because I’m their mom. But, man, some days it is ROUGH!
And thanks for writing this. It is truly comforting knowing that other moms feel like it is as hard as I feel it is some days.
You really summed up how I feel much of the time. It’s been difficult for me, but I’ve been learning to assert myself rather than avoiding confrontation with Oliver in public. Sometimes, that results in him crying or getting upset. There are times when it’s embarrassing, and times when people (at least appear to) stare. But I keep reminding myself that if I give in and just try to keep Oliver happy all the time to avoid conflict, he’ll never learn proper behavior in places like, say, the grocery store. So, it might sometimes look like I have a tough child to strangers, but the reality is he’s a very good toddler, and he’s learning what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior in places other than home. Things occasionally get a little rough, but I believe it also pays off because I’m addressing his behavior instead of just trying to avoid it.
By the way, I love that picture of the boys. Jack is seriously such a beautiful baby.