As this blog progresses and more of the changes come into effect, I thought I’d add a new occasional theme to some of my postings. These postings will basically be my “sentiments” about life as a mommy. Feel free to stop reading whenever as most of these will be opinionated, sappy, and (usually) picture-less.
After scrubbing (for a change) my kitchen & doing some other things around the house, I spent some time playing trains with Charlie and then decided to make a break for some sunshine in the park. As I followed my rambunctious nineteen-month-old up and down every slide, around the big train, and kicked at the wood chips, I noticed another family come on the scene. With two children (boy and girl, about 6-8 years old each), their mother quickly plopped herself on the nearest bench with a book. After harumphing a bit at its uncomfortability, she went to the car in search of her unfoldable cloth chair. She found space in the shade & continued to read. As her children ran around & found amusement amongst themselves, they occasionally called out for her participation – “Mommy, come play with us!” “Mommy, can you push me?” “Mommy, look at me!” Their pleas were usually met with silence and finally ceased after Mommy’s response was, “I’m busy” as she quickly took a call on her blaring cell phone.
For the past nineteen months, I have somehow raised my most precious gift. For the past 28 months, I have known of his presence and have loved him so deeply, I can’t imagine what life was like before him. For the past four and a half months, I have had the joy of knowing my newest gift comes with me everywhere and have begun to feel the wiggles and squiggles of life within. Before my very eyes, my first baby is now a big boy and my second baby is growing and preparing to join us! Time has passed so quickly.
In the last few weeks, I have felt so sentimental about the life I have and the little lives that have been entrusted to me (I only blame part of this sentiment on pregnancy hormones!) Have these past 28 months been easy? No. Have they been without challenges? Absolutely not. As my pregnancy fatigue only grows worse with time, I find that my energy and patience levels can grow thin very quickly. But I wouldn’t change one moment in this world for the joy that my children bring me, even in the hectic times.
I have not been perfect, by any means. I have often had “too much to do” or “too much to get accomplished” to dive in and simply enjoy being “Mommy.” But as I looked at this mom in the park today, I found myself saying a silent prayer to myself, “Help me not to be that mommy down the road. Help me to cherish each and every moment I can spend with my child. Help me to find time to just play, push them on a swing, or watch how they grow.”
All too soon these precious babies that grew inside of me will walk the path to adulthood and I can only hope, they still desire my participation and attention as much as they did in these younger days…
jason just prayed for me the other night that I can enjoy the moments with blake…not worry about housework or anything else…but to live in the moment…how in the world do we do that as moms?
I love the new “mommy sentiments” post and can’t wait for more! This one HIT me hard. Before I had Aria, I was a nanny and before that the oldest to a lot of brothers and sisters and I have ALWAYS been “Let’s go play and run around” go to gal. At the park or play groups whenever I see a mom or nanny on the phone or not running around with the kids, I feel so bad for the kids. Needless to say, I am always go go go with Aria and can honestly say that I just cherish every moment I get with her and trust me my house pays for it. Sometimes it is seriously down right trashed – like I would be mortified if someone decided to pop over. But as I get rounder, I can feel myself starting to truly worry if I will have enough energy for two -especially a full blown toddler and a wake up every two hours newborn. I keep telling myself that I will just have to dig deep and find that energy because I NEVER want to be a sideline mom. Ever!
Oh and I’m SUPER sentimental too! I have had quite a few crying spells over the last 21 weeks. Sorting all her old baby clothes were the culprit of a pretty hefty one. And I think as the time passes and it becomes more “real” that I will have a gorgeous cuddly newborn soon will only bring on more!